Domestic Violence Charges in Tacoma, WA: What Happens When Children Witness It

Getting arrested for domestic violence assault—or any crime designated as domestic violence—can be overwhelming. Washington law treats these cases very seriously. Beyond the standard concerns of jail time and fines, you may also face mandatory treatment programs, added financial penalties, and the stigma that follows an accusation of domestic violence. If children were present during the incident, the situation can become even more distressing. You might worry not just about your legal outcome, but also about how it will affect your children and your relationship with them.

At Smith & White, we’ve represented clients throughout Tacoma and Pierce County who are shocked to learn that even if a child wasn’t physically harmed, simply witnessing domestic violence can trigger investigations, court interventions, and child custody complications. This post explains why that happens, what’s at stake, and how we can help protect your rights and your family.

Why the State Intervenes When Children Witness Domestic Violence

If a child is a direct victim of domestic violence, it’s obvious the state will take swift and serious action. But what surprises many people is that Washington law and child welfare agencies will also intervene even when a child is only a witness to violence between adults.

That’s because extensive research has shown that children who witness domestic violence—even if they’re not physically harmed—can suffer serious emotional, psychological, and even physical consequences. These effects vary by age, but they are always taken seriously by courts, Child Protective Services (CPS), and mental health professionals.

The Emotional Toll on Children

Infants and toddlers exposed to domestic violence often show signs of distress even before they can speak. They may:

Display heightened irritability.
Cry excessively or seem unusually fearful.
Struggle with sleep or feeding patterns.
Exhibit separation anxiety or attachment issues.

As children grow, the psychological effects become more complex:

Preschool-aged children may regress in development, becoming clingy or reverting to baby talk, bedwetting, or thumb-sucking.
Elementary-aged children often experience intense guilt, believing the violence is somehow their fault.
Teenagers may become secretive, emotionally withdrawn, or angry. Many struggle to trust others or form healthy relationships.

Across all ages, children who witness domestic violence frequently experience both shame and rage. These complex emotions can persist into adulthood and shape long-term mental health.

The Physical Impact—Even Without Physical Contact

While these children might never be touched, their bodies often respond to violence the same way victims’ bodies do. Chronic stress from exposure to domestic conflict has been linked to:

Headaches and stomachaches.
Difficulty sleeping or eating.
Anxiety and panic attacks.
Elevated heart rate and blood pressure.

In some cases, these symptoms escalate to more serious conditions like ulcers or immune system suppression. This isn’t just emotional damage—it’s physiological harm rooted in stress and fear.

How Witnessing Violence Affects Development

Witnessing violence can delay or disrupt childhood development. For younger children, this might mean:

Difficulty learning to speak or walk.
Delays in toilet training or self-feeding.
Trouble mastering basic social behaviors.

For school-aged children, problems often surface in the classroom and on the playground:

Academic struggles due to lack of concentration or sleep.
Behavior problems like aggression or withdrawal.
Social difficulties stemming from poor emotional regulation.

Some children become bullies. Others become frequent victims. Either way, their emotional development stalls. And when these patterns persist into adolescence, it becomes harder to form lasting friendships, pursue education, or maintain employment as adults.

Behavioral Risks That Worry Courts and CPS

Children who witness violence may also model what they’ve seen. They may believe violence is a normal part of relationships—or worse, that it’s how you get control. This often leads to:

Difficulty expressing anger in healthy ways.
Aggressive behavior at home or school.
Unsafe relationships with adults outside the home (seeking attention, approval, or rescue).
Increased likelihood of being involved in abusive relationships as adults—either as victims or perpetrators.

This is a major reason why courts in Tacoma, WA treat child-witnessed domestic violence as a serious aggravating factor. Even if the child was not the target, their exposure alone may trigger protective orders, parenting plan modifications, or referrals to CPS.

A Realistic Example: When No One Intended Harm

Let’s consider a hypothetical—but realistic—situation:

A couple in Tacoma argues late at night. The husband throws a phone against the wall. The wife yells back. No one is hit. But their 5-year-old daughter is in the next room. The police arrive and arrest the husband for domestic violence malicious mischief. During the investigation, CPS learns that the child has had nightmares and trouble sleeping since the incident.

Even though the child was not physically harmed, her emotional response and the violent behavior she witnessed could trigger:

A CPS case.
A no-contact order that keeps the father out of the home.
Mandatory counseling for both parents.
Temporary restrictions on parenting time.

That’s the kind of scenario our attorneys see all the time. And it’s why having experienced representation from the beginning is essential.

But Not Every Case Is What It Seems

We’ve also handled cases where the accusation itself was based on false or exaggerated claims. In some instances, a partner may claim there was a violent outburst in front of the children in order to gain leverage in a custody dispute. Or the alleged incident may be a misunderstanding fueled by fear, stress, or an outsider’s assumptions.

False allegations are rare—but not unheard of. Even well-meaning reports can lead to serious consequences. That’s why your defense strategy must be thoughtful, proactive, and well-documented.

What You Can Expect When Children Are Involved

When a Tacoma domestic violence case involves children, here are some of the steps and outcomes that may follow:

Mandatory Reporting: Law enforcement may refer the case to CPS, even if the child wasn’t physically harmed.
Parenting Plan Review: If you’re in a custody dispute, the court may order evaluations or modify existing parenting arrangements.
Guardian ad Litem (GAL): A court-appointed GAL may investigate and make recommendations regarding the child’s best interests.
No-Contact Orders: These can temporarily prevent you from returning home or seeing your children, depending on the facts alleged.
Mandatory Counseling: Both parents may be required to attend domestic violence or parenting classes.

We help our clients prepare for these possibilities, gather supporting documentation, and respond effectively to court-ordered evaluations or CPS inquiries.

The Importance of Telling Your Story

If you’re facing domestic violence charges in Tacoma—especially when children were present—you need more than a legal technician. You need an advocate. Someone who will listen to your side, understand the facts, and defend your rights and your future.

At Smith & White, we don’t just process cases. We build defenses rooted in real lives, complex relationships, and your long-term well-being.

A Final Word: Why the State Cares—and Why You Should Too

The State of Washington takes domestic violence cases seriously because the stakes are high—not just for the accused, but for the children involved. But seriousness doesn’t mean automatic guilt. It doesn’t mean your life should be dismantled without a fair hearing or a full understanding of the facts.

Whether you’re innocent of the charge, made a mistake in the heat of an argument, or are navigating a misunderstanding, our Tacoma criminal defense team is here to help.

Facing domestic violence charges in Tacoma, WA? Don’t navigate this alone—reach out to our Tacoma office today for a free consultation.